Leo ‘Canelo’ Connolly, battered and bruised by a barrage of fast, nasty and strangely apologetic spell of bowling, was not giving up this fight. In front of an expectant quartet of Barron’s parents and his own, the field of 10-men was adjusted accordingly.

The importance of field placement behind square could not have been understated that day, given the fact no one had scored a run in front of square up to this point. Aman ‘Shania’ Jain applied the finishing touches to the field. It was unanimously decided that whilst Azhar made a great third man, the stumps needed targeting, and fine leg was a more prudent option.

2 slips were converted into a single slip and a gully, as the Corinthian’s batters continued to play and miss at Jaino and Baz in equal measure.
1st slip, Suri, is a silent killer. Waiting patiently for that fine nick that never comes despite many false shots. He purrs quietly at the sight of an Azharul inswinger, a JB nip-backer or a heavy Aman wobble ball. He’s a silky man, a man who floats across the turf when he walks in those pearl Brookes spikes. He leaves no trace.

The same cannot be said about the gully – Duray Pretorious. The perfect juxtaposition, Duray is full of beans. Renowned for his chat on the field, Duray is a household name in Surrey Division 8 North. Tales of flirtatious encounters with middle order batters from Putney and Dulwich alike run clear through our minds, as we wait for the next moment of on-field excitement. He pinches his chin in deep thought, eyeing up the batter like a lion would its prey, before pouncing, verbally. Whatever is said tends to elicit excessively rapturous laughter from myself, but also a wry smile from the batter. The sign of an excellently well-balanced, well-mannered chirp.

As Duray and the rest of the group chip away at the batter, Muhammad Waleed, he begins to appear increasingly twitchy. Following another solid, probably maiden over from Barron, Waleed seemed keen to get a move on. But he couldn’t! Aman was bowling those seamers he always does, nipping both ways with great pace off the deck. If we weren’t hearing the thud of leather on thigh pad, we’d be hearing the ooo’s and aaa’s of a play and miss. Either way, something was about to give.

Following another 3 or 4 dot balls, the tension in Waleed was at an all-time high. ‘I must rotate strike’, ‘this is my chance for a red inker’. All these thoughts must have been racing through his head. Aman reaches his mark once more. He waits.

Max Gumpert is working the ball so hard between his hand and his leg that when he eventually hands it to Aman, he can feel the heat.
Finally, Aman begins his run up. His strides are purposeful as ever, and knees pumping like they have all season, Aman focuses on his target. With his eyes wide open, he reaches his delivery stride. With a gentle exhale and a vicious wrist snap, the ball is released.

The pace has slowed now, we are all watching in slow motion, powerless to the outcome. Waleed, with a split second to react, rocks back. The ball lands, ever so slightly short of a length, and jags away. But as the ball reaches the popping crease, shock! The batter middles it, guiding it perfectly between the new gap at second and third slip.

The pace speeds up again, and the view from behind the stumps is muddled. My head darts to the right, I can see the ball flying through the cordon. Another lucky boundary, I thought.

‘But wait, where has the ball gone?’ I ask myself for a split second. ‘It can’t be, surely?’

Then it hits, our gully really has pulled off the most phenomenal one-handed diving catch. No, no way, you cannot do that Duray Pretorious! The team erupts, chasing him around the square like children in a playground. Many superlatives, almost all unrepeatable, were uttered in the shortest space of time. This is why we play, for moments like that. Pure delight.

It wasn’t to be in the end for our 1s, who genuinely looked like defending 58 at one stage. But the fight showed by the bowlers and in the field, following a fairly dismal batting effort shows what we’re all about. We dusted ourselves down, got showered, and headed down to watch the 2s win again. It’s just cricket after all, and we get to play with our mates.

Credits:

Chris ‘Rodente’ ‘Rat-man’ Roden-Smith – an absolute hero of the Plough, who had his season cut short by an awful injury in the first innings. You’ll be sorely missed with your skills and on-field presence.

Sean ‘Gurn’ ‘Skip’ Mcgurn and Dom ‘Nintendo’ ‘Leachy’ Scott – just f*cking catch it clean next time, we miss playing cricket with you.

Leo ‘Conjob’ Canelo – For having the biggest bollocks and wearing some absolutely nasty lifters but getting on the front dog. I love watching you dig in, and we all know you weren’t out.

Super Si Carson – for giving up your Saturday to umpire for us and giving the fastest LBW I’ve ever seen. It’s nice to get a decision for once! Selfless and leading by example, what a guy.

Lots of love,

Angus