Sunday's friendly away at Blackheath CC began with more excitement in the WhatsApp group than would eventually materialise with the bat. Rumours had been circulating earlier in the week that the England vs Mexico World Cup match might be brought forward to 7pm due to the weather in Mexico City, leading to a flurry of tactical discussions. Could we start the cricket early? Would we finish in time? Which pub was showing the football? Could we persuade the opposition to declare after 20 overs?

Sadly, common sense prevailed, FIFA refused to consult the Ploughmans fixture secretary, and the kick-off remained unchanged. So we did what any disappointed group of cricketers would do — we played cricket instead.

The start was delayed slightly thanks to an over-running Cubs match, giving everyone ample opportunity to stretch, chat and wonder if we'd remembered to bring enough sun cream. Then came the first of several Goodyear Blimp fly-pasts. Coincidence? Perhaps. Or perhaps Goodyear had heard Ploughmans were in town and wanted a closer look at one of South London's great sporting spectacles. Admittedly, by the second innings it may simply have been looking for somewhere safer to land.

After losing the toss and being asked to bowl on what can only be described as an excellent batting wicket, we knew we'd have to work hard. Damon struck early to give us the perfect start, but Blackheath's top order settled in nicely and made the most of the conditions. Credit to our bowlers, who stuck at it admirably on a surface offering all the assistance of a supermarket car park.

Damon finished with three wickets, skipper Elmo chipped in with two, while Dinesh and Winters claimed one apiece as Blackheath closed on a very respectable 220 from their 35 overs.

Could it have been less? Almost certainly. Somewhere between four and "we stopped counting" catches were put down. To be fair, catching a cricket ball is difficult. Catching several in the same afternoon, apparently impossible. On another day we might have held a few more and been chasing something considerably smaller. On this day, however, we preferred to keep the game interesting... for them.

Tea, thankfully, was an altogether different story.

Blackheath deserve enormous credit for putting on one of the finest spreads we've seen this season. Sandwiches, cakes, savouries—the lot. Their clubhouse was equally impressive, boasting an excellent selection of beers which, in hindsight, may have proven a little too tempting. Some members of the Ploughmans XI were spotted sampling the local refreshments before a ball had even been bowled, while some others decided that lunch was the perfect time for another. Whether this contributed to events later is, of course, impossible to prove. The scorebook, however, remains suspiciously unconvinced.

At halfway, 220 looked very achievable. The wicket was good, the outfield quick and spirits were high.

Unfortunately, our batting then chose violence—against our own hopes and dreams.

The Blackheath bowlers deserve plenty of credit. They bowled with excellent control, plenty of variation and just enough flight to repeatedly tempt us into making terrible life choices. Time after time we advanced confidently down the wicket, only to discover that the ball was arriving considerably later than anticipated. It turns out that "wait for it" remains excellent batting advice, and one we collectively ignored.
The innings quickly developed into a procession back to the pavilion. Wickets fell with alarming regularity, and our middle order disappeared faster than the sausage rolls at tea.

The one shining light was skipper Elmo, who compiled a superb half-century while everyone around him auditioned for increasingly inventive methods of dismissal. His eventual catch on the boundary seemed to shock him almost as much as everyone else. Judging by his expression, he'd fully expected the fielder to drop it—understandably, given what he'd witnessed earlier in the day.

Late in the innings Damon produced an entertaining cameo, swinging freely and reminding everyone that scoring runs was, in fact, permitted under the laws of cricket. Sadly, by then the required rate had entered the realms of science fiction, and the game drifted away.
It was one of those classic Sunday friendlies: plenty of laughs, plenty of dropped catches, excellent company, outstanding hospitality and just enough cricket to remind us why this wonderfully infuriating sport keeps us coming back every week.

Huge thanks to Blackheath CC for being fantastic hosts, playing the game in exactly the right spirit and feeding us exceptionally well. We look forward to returning the favour next time.

As for the Ploughmans, we'll chalk this one up as valuable practice.

Match report by Ajay “The Chef” John