We let the first bus go by when the driver says he’s only going as far as Herne Hill. It’s a good leave, as when the next number 3 arrives, we spot Prithu and his kitbag onboard, nestled in between pushchairs and shopping trollies. He looks like he’s been on this bus for days, unable to get off, or at least since it began its journey from Victoria bus station.

There is confusion from fellow passengers when the dreaded “this bus is on diversion, please wait for further announcements” message comes over the Tannoy. We three Plough remain calm; we’ve given ourselves a time buffer and we’ve overcome greater obstacles than a diverted journey. We meander down roads I’ve never seen before. I’m enjoying this glimpse of a part of town I’ve never been to, and the bus begins to thin out. Clearly the nerve-shredding stress of an unfamiliar route is too much for some. They choose to bail out at whatever the next bus stop is and take their chances on foot rather than run the risk of ending up in Crystal Palace, miles from the matcha and macchiato of Herne Hill.

We stop abruptly on Norwood Road just before Croxted Road, and the driver shouts something unintelligible from his cab. I relay the message to my fellow passengers “If you want Herne Hill, this is the closest stop, get off now.” Ajit enjoys this, explaining to Prithu my tour role as Coach Captain. I confess that I still feel bad for leaving Bisi and Cosgrove at the ground in Gibraltar. Then again, I reflect, just this week authorities have removed the border fence with Spain, so perhaps I provided them with an opportunity that they may never be repeated? walking across the airfield and dealing with the boarder officials. Yes, it was me, I delivered that once in a lifetime experience. You’re welcome, Andrew and Anusha, you’re welcome…

At the DSG there is a last-minute change of deck at the Nursery ground, the strip right next to the astro is labelled SUN, but it looks pretty rough, parts of it reminding me of Southport beach. Word then comes through from the clubhouse that it was used yesterday, and we are instructed to use the pitch marked SAT, this strip by comparison is green and lush and very appealing to the seam bowlers.

Earlier in the week the original opposition dropped out, more concerned with the world cup final it seems. Norwood Exiles too wanted to avoid cricket and football overlapping so the skippers had agreed to an early start of 1230, and Ajit Prasad had proposed bowling ten consecutive overs from each end, which Norwood was receptive too. Now on game day, they react as though Prasad has completely lost his mind and is trying to rewrite the very laws of the game.

Norwood win the toss and elect to bat. We then find out that this wicket is not entirely as advertised, much more passive than it appears and giving little or no help to the bowlers. Callum Daley (welcomed to the team as a late injury sub for Yanni) and Greeney toil away, but as tight as we try to be with our bowling and fielding, the quick outfield ensures that when the ball finds a gap, it probably finds the boundary rope too.
We are ten overs in when we claim the first wicket, a delicious inside edge, beautifully taken by Rob Mead behind the stumps. One brings..exactly one unfortunately. Our fielding is excellent, Ean Smith and Carl Viberg have been sweeping the boundary, cutting off or chasing down the ball all afternoon, so too has Aislynn Rogers. Carl bowled well also, a tidy spell including the only Plough maiden. Thomas Winter bowled with great heart and real fire and richly deserved the two wickets he would eventually end the day with. Ihtesham Aslam’s overs were top quality but went unrewarded.

It’s almost a hundred more balls before Sandeep Goel in his second over takes the next scalp. We’ve had almost as many drinks breaks as wickets. Now, it’s not the job of the match reporter to embellish events, or massage an individual ego, but I thought it was a pretty good catch I took, running round to deep mid wicket.

We miss chances, the ball falling agonizingly close to the fielder, or sailing just over a desperate leap. Callum moves in from gully on a big top edge, only to see the ball spin away from him when he appears well under it. Is it technically dropped if you haven’t even got a fingertip to it? Tom Merilaht takes a catch at point off Sandeep, which looks straight forward enough to the casual spectator, but we all know they’re not that easy, those nasty ones that hang in the air for an eternity, giving you way too long to think about what you are doing and if you are doing it right.
In the second drinks break, Sandeep has to nip off and provide a drop off taxi service. The oppo allow Umar on as substitute fielder. He is mildly embarrassed to lower the tone wearing black shorts and tank top, but we are very grateful to have him on the field. Thanks Umar.

We snag some wickets in the final five overs. I hold a caught and bowled that happened so quickly, and with so little reaction, that I felt it necessary to ask the umpire to raise his finger to confirm what’s happened. Apparently Tom Merilaht had shouted out “filthy bu**er” but I hadn’t heard it, and to be fair, that kind of comment at the DSG could be directed at any number of people, for any number of reasons.
Ajit, always keen to explore new revenue streams, asks the team “How much would you pay to have an end named after you, for a season?” I suggest having a jug named after me might be more realistic (by the way, I decided yesterday that Sapporo is to be my jug of choice from now on, sure it’s a premium priced product, but those in the know behind the bar tell me it pours faster than the alternatives. It is also more flavoursome and refreshing than Fosters, and it’s not French).

Ean’s taken a catch off Thomas Winter before Winter picks up his second with the last ball of the innings, clean bowled, to leave Norwood Exiles 243 for 7.

We open with Merilaht and Mead and start brightly. Tom just leans into each delivery and clips it away for four. It looks like a day made in heaven for him until the fifth ball of the third over spits off the pitch and takes an edge. Tom, clearly used to playing at a level where all chances are taken, doesn’t look around, he has already tucked his bat into his armpit and ripped off his first glove before the ball has even settled in the keepers gloves, out for a quick fire 19 off 9 balls. Callum comes to the crease, but falls for 2, bowled stretching to meet the pitch of a delivery that isn’t quite there.

Aislynn is undone by a venomous ball that jags off the seam takes a bit of thigh pad before hitting the leg stump bail.

Rob Mead makes a classy 26, but is caught, just when we think a partnership might be starting to blossom.

Ean Smith is solid and dependable. He steadies the ship and more. He’s patient when the team needs time to rebuild and he doesn’t look at all perturbed by any of the bowling. He’ll gone on to be out top scorer of the day with 34, including 5 boundaries.

And so it goes. Sandeep racks up 15 runs from just 8 balls before he is caught. He’s visibly furious, 12 of those runs came from boundaries, and he looked all set for a big explosive innings.

Our innings fizzles out. We lose by 86 runs. We all knew we’d let Norwood get a few too many, the quick outfield hurt us and we didn’t get the early breakthroughs we needed. We batted with pride, determined not to face the humiliation of being beaten by 100 runs or more, but it felt like a game that was always drifting away from us.

Still…Beer in the sun. There is another Ploughmans team at home today, so we all mingle around the jugs. Not much needs to be said; “how did you go?” *wince and shake of the head* “yeah, same”. Those that have plans make their escape, those with less resolve or who hesitate (“I’ll just finish this, then I’m leaving”) feel the tractor beam of the big tv screen and more cold beer pulling them into the clubhouse. And that’s where we end up, in front of the World Cup Final, it’s still bright outside and the DSG looks beautiful, there are jugs on the table, and we are surrounded by teammates. We’ve spent a day in the dirt together. We’ve experienced highs and lows, triumphs and disappointments, but most importantly we shared those moments together.

Match report from Damon (Raymond) Greeney (Beanie)